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(no subject) [Jan. 16th, 2005|12:27 am]
... life is way to busy. My old family got replaced with a new one, i'm still here though. So many complications ugh... my head feels like it's attached to a balloon now. I'm about ready to sleep.

I've been stressing too much about midterms and passing....
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(no subject) [Jan. 1st, 2005|12:18 pm]
but then again, i only drank so much because it was new years and my friend really wanted me to get wasted *peer pressure*

I puked so bad some of it came out my nose last night, and I have a headache that would kill today.

I actually don't like to being out of my mind like that.

Whatever happens happens, heh. Now to find my watch... my room is completely fucked up too. Oh and, The family that moved in with us, they are drinkers too.
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(no subject) [Jan. 1st, 2005|12:11 am]
i am drunk off my fuckung ass, new years.... I am hella making good friends with my friends i already have.

I don't cry myself to sleep... i did a good job, I don't regret any of the desitions i make... I love all my friends, even the ones that hate me, They were good in the first place,... i just hope they don't think less of me. Damn, i'm only gonna do this once in a while.can't see fucking straight... b

i'll be looking back on this comment and laufghe at how sutpid i am... but then again this is only a reflaction of how societty is... people only drink because society ..k k

.. i love all you guys, i don't give a shit, you guys.... my life ...

you guy saffected me in a way that i cannot understand.

I know how you guys feel against drinking but... i dunnot,,,,

Remember it is only a reflection of society , not how the peopl's morales are.... love ya.
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(no subject) [Dec. 4th, 2004|12:31 pm]
happy birthday to me... i turned 18 yesterday.
i can
- have sex legally
- buy smokes
- buy lottery tickets
- buy pr0n and view pr0n legally
- and a whole lot of other stuff i probably forgot about and don't give a shit about anyways, like most of the stuff on this list.

- oh and, get kicked out of the house. haha.
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(no subject) [Dec. 2nd, 2004|09:07 pm]
Was poking around Livejournal and saw Heather's entry on name analysis. Well.. here goes.

Your name of Rick has many sterling qualities but does not give you an overall stability. You do everything with an intensity to the point of fervour, and either you feel tremendous elation or you are in the depths of despair. People often disappoint you because you are idealistic and are apt to place those whom you admire on a pedestal. Then you become disillusioned when they fall short of your expectations. You are quick mentally and like to see things moving at an accelerated pace. Patience is not one of your virtues; you want to move when the impulse strikes you. While such spontaneity is fine at times, you must take account of conditions and employ careful analysis so as to avoid disastrous results such as accidents due to hasty actions. Most things you do, you do well, but as soon as the task, hobby, or job becomes familiar or routine, you are bored and crave a change. Travel and new horizons ever intrigue you, but your hunger for greener fields is insatiable, and so you do not experience contentment and peace of mind. There is such a driving power within you that, you cannot find an outlet or if your actions are thwarted in some way, you feel the reaction through extreme tension in the region of your solar plexus. The intensity and consequent outbursts leave hurt feelings in their wake, usually involving those closest to you. Any weakness in your health would result from your sensitive and high-strung nature in stomach disorders such as nervous indigestion or ulcers.

That describes me to the tee. Seriously. It is scary even. This suggests that I will drive myself insane, literally. I used the name Rick instead of my formal name Richard because it wasn't in there, but yet again I'd rather be called Rick because I hate how formal Richard is.

And honest to god I was toying around with the idea that i might get a stomach ulcer from all this worrying in life, sooner or later.

no really i'm appalled. I totally expected to get wierd results.

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(no subject) [Nov. 22nd, 2004|05:21 pm]
[I'm listening to |Initial D - Remember Me]

Everybody is doing it I guess. Besides, I guess it helps me to reflect on other things besides myself. And, I really don't think i have more than 15 friends... My group is really tight, but then again... Really don't know if we are tight at all. Whatever.

I guess when I write about certain people it will be freakin' obvious. And no, don't waste your time reading this if you think i'm gonna talk trash... i'm not that kinda person anyways...

a. Choose 15 people from your friends list at random.
b. Write something about/to each of them.
c. Don't tell anyone who the statements are about. Good or bad. No matter how they beg!
d. But please do try to guess. That's what makes this fun!

1 - This one probably applies to a lot of you. I've met you so long ago, I really don't know what happened, kinda drifted apart, but then again that's better than argueing or fighting I believe. If you would ever need anything just ask, I don't bite and usually i'll do it happily. Like i did homework for them once. heh-heh. Asides from art though, because I'm a real quirk case when it gets to art.

2 - Yah man! I hope things are really going well for you, completing the circle of life and finding a mate. Hopefully one that you can understand and vice versa. Seriously I'm happy for you, and I hope work doesn't get you down.

3 - Ugh, what happened? So long ago i met you, and now I barely hear anything from you! You were my inspiration, I looked up to you. Well, I still do actually haha. I'm sure things will work out in thier own due course of time really, can't blame a person for being busy.

4 - You've got some really great ideas. I can see you building upon that and making it become something so totally awesome. I'm just sad that home life / social pressures are getting you down. We really don't talk that much anymore, but I guess it's due to your nature also, and most probably mine, but same thing applies for number one, if you need anything, just ask.

5 - I really don't know what your true intentions are, maybe you just geniunely think me as a friend, but I'm down with it. I know I've been hurt before in that way, but even if you are keeping tabs on me I don't care, I mean I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. It really sucks to be treated unfairly which in my case happens often. If you ever want to talk just go ahead and catch me on aim, i'm too timid to aim anybody anymore. But yeah, whatever the case is, I have nothing to hide.

6 - I went around adding people I knew from DA and all that stuff, and friends of friends, and pretty much you might be one of them. If you feel uncomfortable with me reading your posts then go ahead and take me off your friends list. But pretty much, sometimes reading about somebody else's life helps me forget about my own. Most times I really want to say something encouraging but i'm afraid of harsh backlash. Your posts may be sporadic, or sometimes on an all out rant basis, but believe me I must of liked you to keep you on my list.
(Even though I did do a purge at one point in time. Whatever happens happens.)

7 - You are one crazy person you know that? But in a very good way hehe. Your art kicks major munki! So sad we haven't talked in so long, but hey, people get busy. We should maybe try to oC sometime hehe.

8 - I don't know much about you, but then again we don't really talk that much. But reading your posts is one way of finding out how a person is. So far, your cool.

I'm done. Shows you how much I know about my general little group. Then again I haven't been a freak and adding tons of people by random in other people's lists.

I'm thinking about moving though. From livejournal. To Xanga. Because I have a personal group of friends close to home that has that and not LJ. If you want I can give you my Xanga user stuff. But really. I plan to still post in both i guess.

But yeah, enjoyed myself today at the bowling alley. planning on buying halflife 2. peace.
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(no subject) [Nov. 22nd, 2004|08:32 am]
Just looking and glossing over people's entries is making me feel even more alienated and out of place. I don't feel like i'm attached anymore. But then again it could be the negativity and also my defacement.... It's just like those elementary school days again...

Whatever, can't let life hold me down, hopefully.

As for my father. We really don't know his condition. I'd say he was worse off than before he went to the hospital, and that's my opinion. I had a chance to visit him last night and chose to decline. It was a school night, but that wasn't the reason. Just seeing him like that, in that bed, defeated... old... giving up. It really fucks with my mind, i'm supposed to be his son, and his traits are usually passed on to me. And, no matter what he did to me I still care for him...

I worry about myself too much. I consider myself a very selfish person... But aside from the point. Since my dad is out of commission, literally, we are scrambling to get me driving soon. Scheduled for an appointment at dmv for me to renew my permit and then i'll take my behind the wheel test as soon as possible after that. Cars and driving really does scare the fuck outta me. Sure Grand Theft Auto : San Andreas I had no problem, and Initial D i'm a freaking racing force to be reckoned with but in real life, timid as a mouse i guess.

As for my housing situation, my brother finally understands my situation and he said I can live here as long as I need to. I'm happy, it's one less thing I should be worrying about, and I made sure to let everybody know I was worried about it.... what an ass I am.

Oh, and I dug up a journal I was writing in when I was 14 or something, Freshman in Highschool. Just reading over it made me laugh so hard. I am so stupid! and opinionated! What happened? But seriously though, It made me realize how mellow I am today. Maybe too laid back.
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(no subject) [Nov. 19th, 2004|06:43 am]
... lack of everything. meh... I'll try to get some finished works up but i'm in a sketching mood for the rest of the year i guess.

Oh and. My dad is in the hospital now. The intensive care unit... We kinda, well. I don't know. He had a stroke and somehow he didn't tell any of us. Then later on he started acting very wierd, this is a couple days after, he showed signs of insanity, misplacing things, displaced thoughts, saying the wierdest stuff, and no regard for the cold weather. So my bro took him to the hospital and that's how everybody found out... He's. I dunno. He's still kinda unresponsive and has a feeding tube hooked to him now.

... I hope he's okay. Jeez. It's a big blow to me because all my life i was raised by him to think he was invincible, the best, ... whatever. It just. Displaces my whole mood on everything.

for lack of anything better to post i guess... it's urgent... i think...
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(no subject) [Nov. 15th, 2004|12:32 pm]
[I'm feeling |drunkdrugged up]
[I'm listening to |Initial D - Dancin' in my Dreams]

Shit. Bedridden the whole day yesterday and pretty much the whole morning today. Being sick sucks. Apparently it was the chills that I had, and a crapload of other things, including stomach pain, insomnia and restlessness. I was seriously hoping somebody would kill me yesterday.

Oh, and extensive back pain too. What the hell?

Feeling a tiny bit better. This room is godawful to clean though. Always getting messy, I'm glad it's a very big room but jeez.

Ah, and I have starfox on the brain also. Watched the trailer for starfox assault and i would have to say i'm turned off by the running around part, but not as much as dino island, it actually looks very pimp! Then again, the trailer is 03' howcome i haven't taken a look at it yet? And I preordered the game before that too x_x Then again, I knew I was picking a winner. Hopefully.


If your bored check this out. I thought it was only a myth that such comics existed. Thanks to Trip for the link.
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(no subject) [Nov. 11th, 2004|04:18 pm]
[I'm feeling |blankblank]
[I'm listening to |Initial D - Dancin' in my Dreams]

I beat Initial D. Legend of street mode. I am practically retiring now. Since I beat it. If i want to play that game again i'll just be a snark and challenge people at the alley.

As for life. meh.. same old same old. I am hanging around friends more often though. And I have been psycho-analyzing every situation I can think up and come across. melancholic mood swings aren't uncommon.

I'm planning on getting San Andreas this week. Played a little bit of it at a friend's house. Not much improved graphic wise, rendering and such, but the hills and addition of neat little things are awesome.

Had an artist friend over, a sophomore, he's a friend in a group of friends that i have. Showed him all my previous work, gave him lots of tips in photoshop and such, and let him have a go at my tablet. It was cool since he got all inspired like and I had the opportunity to teach somebody something else that I have learned on my own.


why aren't some of my friends submitting that much? ...
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